Sunday, July 3, 2011

Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us together today. Wove, twue wove...

The title is, of course, a quote from The Princess Bride. (This movie has a plethora of great quotes along with The Three Amigos where I learned what fun using the word 'plethora' is and Sgt. Bilko where a popular marriage quote is, "He found me a new wife, a better wife.")

Another great quote is, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." (I hope someday to meet Charles Dickens where I will apologize for not reading all of his books all the way through, but will brag that I read A Christmas Carol several times and think it one of the best books ever.) This quote was not used about marriage. At least not the marriages I am writing about today.

My youngest son, Quinn, my fourth child and though not my favorite (because I don't have a favorite--I don't care how many pictures of each of them are on the piano any given day), he is the one I prayed for for four years (how often do you get to use a word that sounds the same three times in a row correctly?) He was the child of my old age. I was 34. He was married two and a half weeks ago.

He's my third child married and it has been a delightful experience. My only daughter, Jana, married first. She was young and it would have been hard for me, but the year she and Chuck were engaged, she was in Provo and Chuck was in Boise, sometimes at my house making a quilt for her for Christmas. I got to know and love Chuck that year (seriously--what young man makes a pieced quilt for his fiancee?) and it has been wonderful to watch their love deepen and grow. And yes, I also appreciate the fact that they now have the two cutest little boys in the entire world who melt my heart every time they greet me with "Grandma Pam" and a hug.

Sam married next. He and Terri met and dated in Provo, and I did not get to know her well before they married. She is a quiet, gracious young woman, not prone to placing herself in the center of attention in any gathering. Thank goodness for blogs. It was in her writing that I grew to know and love her--her sense of humor shone through good writing (high praise in our family) and I was able to appreciate the lovely relationship my second son shared with his new wife. When their daughter was born a year ago, the blog became overwhelming proof that Terri (and Sam for that matter) were going to be the kind of doting parents it would be so so fun to observe. No, Bailey does not get everything she wants. Mostly, though.

I knew Quinn would marry happily. I knew he would be over his head in love and that she would feel the same. I knew it would be a combination of seriousness and silliness that brought them together and I was right. Eden and Quinn are the stuff of romantic comedies, with a subplot of sober, reflective drama thrown in so that no one gets too much of the lovey-dovey stuff. The two adjectives that people use to describe them are sweet and cute. That would be discouraging to me if I didn't know them both to be sassy, smart, and remarkably strong as well. They seem to be mfeo. (I just watched Sleepless in Seattle again.)

I told someone that Eden and Quinn were young and impulsive and when Quinn found out, he thought I was being critical. Not me. Impulsive will always be a compliment coming from me. It doesn't mean reckless or irresponsible when I use it; it means being spontaneous enough to do something when you know it's the right thing to do, even if other people don't agree. It means not being afraid to do something daring. It means you seize the day!! And well, they are young!

My unmarried child, Cody, is also my oldest and will not be young when he marries. But he will marry. I'm not saying I'm visionary (maybe I am, I'm just not saying), but I once envisioned him sitting on my couch with his arm around a beautiful young woman and a baby on their lap. Cody is kind, loving, loyal and funny. All very good traits in a marriage, I believe.

I think marriage can be the most wonderful relationship in the world. It can also be not so wonderful. I am not married, and doubt that I will be again, but I'm proud of my children for setting such good examples of what I'm missing.


  1. I have to say, the three of us have gotten very lucky and I bet Cody will too someday! This was a very nice post; I liked it, Mama.

  2. I need to reflect on the marriages in my family. I want my evaluations to be as positive and spot-on as yours. I also need one more stepson to get married. I'll give Ty a few more years. Your definition of impulsive is perfect. It's a great way to live life. So much better than being deliberate, over thinking, and a perfectionist. I know a couple of those people. I married one in an impulsive moment. Best decision he ever made.