Sunday, January 13, 2013

Multiple Sclerosis

A little while after my MS diagnosis, someone gave me a book called Taking Charge--Overcoming the Challenges of Long-Term Illness.  I looked through it.  It was depressing.  I decided I didn't need it since my MS was never going to be bad.  According to me. And since my neurologist still is pleased as punch that I can walk two or three miles with only a little left leg weakness (actually quite a lot of left leg weakness--I limp by the time I'm done and I walk really slow), it's easy for me to keep believing I dodged the MS bullet.  And I did in so many ways.  At least so far.  Hey, I don't use a cane.  I don't use a walker.  I don't use a wheel chair.  Things could be so much worse.  But, it doesn't mean I don't have MS.  I have plenty of symptoms.  Mostly invisible to most people.  I need to read the book.  I'm having a really hard time right now that I feel guilty that I can't do everything I used to do and I'm tired of pretending I can.  I've actually convinced the most important people in my life that I must just be lazy and that's why I don't do everything.  I also fear I may need to cut certain things out of my life--owning a home and pets, for example.  Oh, well.  What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.  Or sadder.  The challenge is to still be me in the best way I can.  Heavenly Father will help.