Sunday, January 13, 2013
A little while after my MS diagnosis, someone gave me a book called Taking Charge--Overcoming the Challenges of Long-Term Illness. I looked through it. It was depressing. I decided I didn't need it since my MS was never going to be bad. According to me. And since my neurologist still is pleased as punch that I can walk two or three miles with only a little left leg weakness (actually quite a lot of left leg weakness--I limp by the time I'm done and I walk really slow), it's easy for me to keep believing I dodged the MS bullet. And I did in so many ways. At least so far. Hey, I don't use a cane. I don't use a walker. I don't use a wheel chair. Things could be so much worse. But, it doesn't mean I don't have MS. I have plenty of symptoms. Mostly invisible to most people. I need to read the book. I'm having a really hard time right now that I feel guilty that I can't do everything I used to do and I'm tired of pretending I can. I've actually convinced the most important people in my life that I must just be lazy and that's why I don't do everything. I also fear I may need to cut certain things out of my life--owning a home and pets, for example. Oh, well. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Or sadder. The challenge is to still be me in the best way I can. Heavenly Father will help.